If you’re in the middle of a fertility journey, you’re probably juggling a hundred different emotions at once. There are moments of hope… and then moments when everything feels heavy and uncertain. Confidence—something you once took for granted—can suddenly feel like it’s vanished.
I get it. The appointments, the waiting, the not-knowing—it chips away at that inner voice that used to say, “You’ve got this.” But here’s the thing: confidence isn’t a permanent personality trait. It’s something you can build back up, even when life feels unpredictable.
I talked all about this on this week’s Think Fertility podcast:
🎧 Listen to the full episode:
▶️ Watch on YouTube
🎧 Listen on Buzzsprout
Let’s dive into why confidence matters so much right now—and some simple, practical tools you can start using today.
Confidence touches every part of this journey. It helps you:
When confidence fades, it’s easy to feel powerless. But when you nurture it—even in small ways—you start to reclaim a sense of strength and agency. And that shift can make the hard days feel a little less overwhelming.
Before we jump into the tools, let’s clear up a few unhelpful myths:
1️⃣ “Confidence is something you’re born with.”
Nope. Confidence is a skill—one you can learn and practice.
2️⃣ “I’ll feel confident when everything goes right.”
Waiting for perfect circumstances is a trap. Confidence grows in the messy middle, even when the outcome is unknown.
3️⃣ “Other people’s approval gives me confidence.”
External validation can feel good, but lasting confidence comes from the inside. When it’s anchored in your own values and actions, it’s much harder to shake.
Here are five easy, evidence-based tools I share with my clients:
1. Square Breathing (Box Breathing)
Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat 2–3 rounds. This calms your nervous system and helps your mind shift from overwhelm to steadiness.
2. Anchor to Achievements
Write down small wins: booking that appointment, asking the question you were scared to ask, even just showing up for yourself today. Glancing at this list daily reminds you that you are capable, even when things feel shaky.
3. Reframe Your Self-Talk
Catch the harsh inner critic. Swap “I’m failing” for “I’m navigating a tough situation with courage.” Instead of “I can’t cope,” try “I’m learning as I go.” These small shifts change the weight of your thoughts.
4. Micro-Confidence Habits
Confidence grows through action. Cook a new recipe, try a different walking route, or tackle a small task you’ve been putting off. These little wins build a quiet sense of capability.
5. Visualisation
Close your eyes and imagine yourself moving through your day calm, strong, and in control. Your brain rehearses confidence as though it’s real—giving you a head start before the day even begins.
Take 30 seconds with me right now:
1️⃣ Sit tall, shoulders back.
2️⃣ Take a deep, slow breath in… and out.
3️⃣ Think of one small thing you did well today—however ordinary it seems. Let yourself feel a flicker of pride in that moment.
This tiny pause isn’t trivial—it’s practice. It’s a signal to yourself: I can handle this moment.
Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you build, piece by piece, even on the hardest days. Every reframed thought, every small action, every deep breath is a vote of confidence in yourself. You don’t have to have everything figured out—you just have to start where you are.
🎧 Listen for more insights and encouragement:
▶️ Watch on YouTube
🎧 Listen on Buzzsprout
💬 Want personalised support? I’d love to hear your story and see how I can help. Book a free 30-minute chat here: https://abitwomlow.as.me/